


Promises like roses in the sunshine

by cjmarlowe



Category: Terriers
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Yuletide 2010, Yuletide Treat, doing time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-24
Updated: 2010-12-24
Packaged: 2017-10-14 02:22:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/144293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cjmarlowe/pseuds/cjmarlowe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Promises are a lot easier to make than to keep, but Britt's not taking the easy way out anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Promises like roses in the sunshine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [perdiccas](https://archiveofourown.org/users/perdiccas/gifts).



Fuck yeah, Britt thinks about running. Of course he does. Who in their right mind wouldn't at least think about it, when face to face with a year in prison? It would be so damn easy, and between him and Hank they've got the connections to make it happen, it's not just a crazy fantasy. He thinks about it harder than he's ever going to admit to anybody, except maybe Hank who doesn't have to ask, looks longingly at the horizon and thinks about a life free of bars.

But a life free of bars is a life free from Katie and a life free from his child, and that right there, that changes everything.

Britt made his choice long before they reached the crossroads, and the devil on his shoulder only offers a fleeting temptation. It sure as hell wasn't all supposed to end up this way, but he's always been kind of shit with plans. He's going to try to be better about that from now on. Britt closes his eyes and nods his head forward and Hank drives straight though the light. They don't talk about it after that.

He didn't use the word, but when he told Katie he was going to start taking responsibility, it was a promise. A promise to himself, a promise to her, a promise to his unborn child. A small promise. The beginning of a promise. A kind of promise seed that has lots of room to grow and become something unimaginably wonderful from a tiny, humble beginning.

Britt likes to think of it all poetic like that, like all he's got to do is remember to water it and throw some fertilizer on and the thing will take on a life of its own.

"Do you want to stop anywhere?" says Hank, and Britt looks out the window and shakes his head. "Not even a cheeseburger or anything?"

"What, so the first thing I can do in prison is ask where I can take a shit? Fuck off," says Britt. Hank laughs at him.

In his head he breaks down the year into manageable parts. Twelve months. Fifty-two weeks. Three-hundred and sixty-five days at worst, but Britt figures it's better to plan for the worst than be disappointed. It's probably at least fifty visits. Each. Maybe more. He'll see Katie get fat and beautiful. Hank will keep him up to date on everything important, and he won't pull any punches. Maybe Britt'll even be out in time to see his baby born.

No. No. He bangs his head lightly against the passenger-side door and watches the street signs pass by. Don't count on anything. Manageable pieces. Even in worst case scenario the rugrat'll be too young to remember him ever not being there, and _that's_ the thought he's allowed to cling to. That's the worst that can happen.

He will always be there for that kid. He will always _have been_ there for his kid.

"You sure you don't want me to stop for a drink?"

"Stop being a fuckhole and drive before I change my mind," says Britt. Hank stills for a moment, like he's waiting for Britt to do just that, like he really is _ready to do a runner with him_ which is why Hank is both an asshole and the best fucking person on the planet, bar none.

"Last chance."

"We already passed last chance a few blocks back," says Britt. "I saw it on a sign."

"You saw it on a sign or you saw a sign?"

"What difference does it make?" says Britt, and puts a foot up on the dash. What are they gonna do, arrest him?

When he gets out in a year he's gonna do something special. He's gonna take Katie out. No, he's not gonna take Katie out, they're gonna have a baby by then, he's gonna take Katie _in_. They'll stay in and he'll hold their baby and kiss its tiny little nose and promise to never go away again. Never go away again.

Yeah, he knows he's a little bit kinda fucked up, but who isn't? Sometimes he just loves so hard it makes him crazy. Love _should_ make you a little crazy, make you want to be a little crazy. Love's messed up and wonderful and Britt ought to know because he's still got it hard. He has it and he's going to keep it close and never let it go. Katie's the sun and the moon and that's so deep inside him there's no prying it out.

He's going to be a better man. He's not going to lose. And that's a promise.

"It's okay to make mistakes," says Hank, and Britt tries not to notice how close they are to the prison now. Another man might not know that, but Britt knows the way. The light at the end of the tunnel really is an oncoming train this time.

"Good thing, too," says Britt, "or you'd sure be fucked, wouldn't you?"

"You got that right," says Hank.

"We'd all be fucked," says Britt. Him and Hank and Gretchen and Jason and Maggie and Steph and god damn Gustafson too. The whole station. The whole city. The whole world. They'd all be fucked, every one of them. Mistakes are a part of everything, and some of them are fucking fucklariously fucked up, but you get through them. You promise to do better and you move on. You keep on loving hard and living your imperfect life and doing the best that you can.

His promise to grow up and change and own up to his actions and be a better man is going to unfurl and reach for the sky one day. It's gonna be tall and broad and real. Just you wait and see.

"You ready for this?" says Hank as Britt lets his hand rest on the door handle and stares out the windshield at the next year of his life.

"Not even remotely," he says, and opens the door.

Promises are a lot easier to make than to keep, but Britt's not taking the easy way out anymore.


End file.
